How many times in a typical day do you hear yourself saying “I need to….”?
I need to manage my time better. I need to win this project. I need this money. I need this… please add in what you’ve told yourself today.
Does any of this sound familiar?
It’s the internal dialogue we have with ourselves every day. It’s all the things we feel we absolutely have to do.
One of my coaching clients, we’ll call her Jackie, was working with a company that constantly drained her energy. They kept pushing deadlines back. They kept asking for additional work to be done.
They weren’t a pleasure to work with and they didn’t pay on time.
“Why do you want to work with these guys?” I asked
Jackie replied that “despite the headaches they’re a really profitable client. I really can’t afford to lose them so I need to keep working with them. It will cost the business money if we stop working with them”
I saw first-hand the stress this company was causing Jackie. The late payments. The long hours. Cramming extra work in to meet their deadlines. The knock on effect of other client work.
I need to
Jackie thought she needed this client. That the problems she experienced with them were worth the economic pay off.
Need can be an incredibly toxic mind-set. In my experience, any kind of professional relationship based on need never ends well.
Through our work together, Jackie began to realise that coming from a position of need wasn’t in her best interest.
Instead she started looking at things from a position of want. She asked herself “Who did she want to work with?” “What kind of company did she want to create?”
She started framing all of her actions and decisions from a position of want to rather than need to. This made her fare more invested and creative in her sense of purpose and decision making.
Once Jackie fully invested in this she decided to let that client go so she could focus her time on company’s she wanted to work with.
When you come from a position of need you often don’t think logically or creatively.
Think about it. You ask yourself questions like “What do we need to do?” or “What do we need to happen?” or “What positions do we need to fill?”
Your next step is usually a reaction. You’re working to fulfil a need rather than stepping back and creating.
Change from need to want
Instead of asking “What do I need to do?” ask yourself ‘What do I want to do?”
Notice how much more powerful and intentional that question is.
It allows your mind to think creatively about what really matters to you. The possibilities open up before you with that question.
Success is a creation. Once you switch from a need to a want you have the opportunity to make quantum leaps in your business and life.
The more you are willing to state what you want and be intentional about achieving it, the faster it can become a reality.
Try this. For the next few day start asking yourself questions like
“What do I want to create?”
“What do I want to produce?”
“Who do I want to connect with?”
“Who do I want to work with?”
You’ll notice that all of a sudden everything changes. You’ll start anticipating and acting upon new opportunities.
You’ll gain clarity on where you should be spending your time every day and what you should be working on. You’ll also decide who you want to spend time with.
One of the things about need is that it often creates worry. You feel more of a sense of urgency to get things done. It doesn’t feel like a choice, more something that has to be done. Now!
Need can also make you fearful. “I need to complete my to do list. I need new customers. I need money. I need to sort out my cash flow. I need more time.”
You get overwhelmed and stressed out with all the things you tell yourself you need to do.
You’re running around frantically trying to do everything rather than stepping back and focusing on the small number of things you want to do.
Get more creative
Once you shift your mind over to want, you start getting creative. You become in control of your day. You’re doing something you want to do.
When you ask yourself what you want, you can be unlimited in that thinking. You’re not limited and your thoughts open up.
When you change your thinking to “What do I really want?” you multiply your thinking. You set bigger goals. You elevate your mind-set.
Take some time to notice the difference between needs and wants in your life. You’ll start to see the power in switching from a need state to a focus on what you want.
About The Author
Mark Pettit helps entrepreneurs and business owners leverage their time to achieve more whilst working less. He helps people achieve their personal and business goals faster through 1:1 business coaching.
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