Learning how to be a good listener is an important skill to develop in business and life. Being a good listener means you focus your attention on the person who’s speaking, rather than interrupting. Good listeners are fully present, don’t have an agenda and listen more than they speak.
Being a good listener means being curious and asking good questions. Being a good listener is also important in helping you understand and empathise with others, without passing judgement.
Having good listening skills leads to stronger relationships, deeper engagement and higher levels of gratitude. Learning how to be a good listener improves your connection and understanding of other people.
If you want help with improving your listening skills, this articles shares 8 tips on how to be a good listener.
How to be a good listener
Here are 8 tips to help you develop effective listening skills.
1. Be curious
To be a good listener, it is important to be curious about the other person. When you listen with curiosity, you learn more about, and understand, the other person on a deeper level.
When you are curious, you are keen to ask questions. Asking good questions ensures you actively sit and listen to the other person. Being curious ensures you use the person’s answers to ask follow up questions that go deeper.
2. Keep quiet
To be a good listener, it is important to stay silent during a conversation when someone else is speaking. Good listeners hold the space and stay silent while the other person talks.
The best listeners are people who ask good questions and then stop talking and start listening. Good listening means letting the other person think and talk without judgement and interruption.
3. Be attentive
To be a good listener, it’s important to be focused and attentive during the conversation. Good listeners are genuinely interested in the other person, and what they have to say.
When you are attentive, you listen to the words, rather than trying to jump in. Attentive listening helps the other person understand that they are being listened to.
4. Be present
To be a good listener, it’s important to be fully present in the conversation. When you are fully focused on the other person, and understand the conversation is not about you, you become a better listener.
When you are fully present with the other person, you actively listen and ask great questions. If the conversation shifts to being about you, the power of active listening is lost.
5. Ask great questions
An effective way to listen well is to ask great questions. You become a better listener through the quality of your questions, and the answers you receive.
The ability to ask great questions starts with asking open ended questions that you don’t know the answer to. Asking open ended questions gets the other person to really think about their answer, and ensures you listen actively.
Great listening questions often start with what, why, when and how.
6. Use their language
The correct language makes you a more active listener, and ensures the speaker is being heard. When you respond, and ask questions using the other person’s language, it shows you have been actively listening.
Mirroring the other person, and using their body language, enhances the listening experience. It also helps you ask better better questions and capture their language.
7. Make the person feel understood
To be a good listener, it’s important that the other person feels heard and understood. Good listeners engage with what the other person says and wants to say.
Good questions should be open ended and allow the other person to fully express themselves. This allows them to talk about the things that are most important to them.
Effective listening means making the other person feel understood. Active listeners also respond in the right way through positive body language and encouragement.
8. Just listen
Good listeners understand that it is important to listen when someone else is speaking. Good listeners doesn’t listen half-heartedly. They are fully active and engaged in the conversation.
They are focused on the other person and hold the space between them. To be a better listener, listen to what the other person is sating and ask open ended questions that let the other person come up with solutions.
A good listener is focused on developing their listening skills. They understand that being present and making the other person feel understood and heard is key to a successful conversation. Good listening requires self-awareness and the ability to be attentive and listen hard
Good listeners always think about the other person. When you use active listening and ask great questions, your listening skills will transform.
About the Author
Mark Pettit is a time management coach based in Colchester, Essex, UK. He is the Founder of time management coaching company, Lucemi Consulting.
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