Thanks for sharing
  • 5

One of the things that holds many people back is a fear of failure.  Those people are looking to find ways to boost self-confidence in order to have the courage to take on a project or so something specific that scares them.

Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her. Lao Tzu

Taking action boosts self-confidence 

Many people struggle with getting started.

Rather than creating their own path towards achieving their biggest goals, they are held back by a lack of self-confidence to overcome their fear of failure.

Therefore, it is essential to find ways to boost self-confidence.

If you want to increase your own self-confidence, the key questions then become:

How will boosting self-confidence help me overcome my fears?

How to be confident again 

The simple answer.

If you want to gain self-confidence, make an intentional commitment to work on boosting your self-confidence and self-esteem.

By having the courage to work on gaining self-confidence and self-esteem every day, even if the marginal gains feel small and it feels really difficult to do so.

When I talk to coaching clients about this commitment to boosting self-confidence I often use my gym experience as an example.

Related: 3 simple ways to increase confidence every day

How I increased self-confidence

I was pretty fearful of going to the gym for the first time as I really wanted to get in shape and I knew it would be hard.

In the gym I knew I’d be surrounded by people that had more knowledge, experience and just looked better than me.

The experience of trying new things and really stretching different muscles put me out of my comfort zone.

I feared I’d be a failure.

Take small steps to boost self-esteem

During my first session I got out of breath very quickly and felt a burn in my muscles that I’d never experienced before.

It was pretty uncomfortable and my head was spinning after just 10 minutes working out.

With certain exercises, I was focused on doing 10 reps but only managed to do five.

The next day my body ached and I wondered why I bothered to put myself through that experience.

Have you experienced a similar feeling?

Read also:

How to be more confident: 10 self-confidence tips 

Boost your self-confidence by celebrating achievements

The thing is, when I went back the next day things got slightly easier and I was able to do a little bit more, and feel less out of breath.

I could run a little bit further and lift slightly heavier weights. My self-confidence grew.

The process got easier the more I stuck with going to the gym.

Incremental gains were achieved every day that boosted my self-confidence and motivation to continue.

Those incremental gains also reinforced my commitment and self-confidence to continue.

When I sat back and looked at what happened, when I looked at my experience I realised that this commitment and taking one small step at a time had helped my overcome that specific fear.

How commitment improves self-esteem

I have used the process of being committed and using courage to boost my self-confidence when I have a specific fearful situation on every occasion since the gym.

My capabilities had increased.

I could run faster for longer and lift heavier weights than I imagined.

Now, I still have fears, most of us do.

But now I know that I can overcome them and come out the other side with increased self-confidence.

So, how can you overcome your own fear and boost self-confidence?

Your fears may be completely different than mine, but you aspire to truly be yourself and build your self-confidence.

Whether it’s public speaking, attending networking events, putting yourself out there, or tackling a scary project, we all have fears.

How to boost self-confidence

If you are currently feeling low in self-esteem or self-confidence, is it possible to transform this feeling into one of higher self-esteem or self-confidence.


10 Things to Stop Worrying About If You Want to Find Happiness

By taking control of your life, and taking the opportunity to boost self-confidence, through intentional actions and habits, you can increase your self-confidence without the help of others

You don’t need to do all of them. 

One or two may align with you more than others, so pick the ones that appeal most and give them a try.

Here are the 13 things you can do right now to boost self-confidence, in no specific order:

1. Increase your capabilities

How can you boost self-confidence? By increasing your capabilities.

And how do you do that?

By making a commitment and having the courage to follow through.

Through practice and achieving improvement every day.

Just do small bits at a time.

Incremental gains boosts confidence

If you have a goal to run 10k, for example, and you haven’t run before, don’t try to run 5k on your first go.

Just start slowly and build up. 

Start with 1k. 

Get a running partner or a group of people to make it more fun. 

The more you run, the better you’ll be. That incremental improvement will boost self-confidence.

Have the courage to build your running capability and your self-confidence will grow. 

Related: How to Overcome 3 Mental Blocks on The Road to Business Success

2. Use your past as a self-confidence guide

Think back to a time when you achieved something but were fearful at the beginning.

What lessons can you learn?  How was your confidence when you achieved that thing?

Was there are process you went through to overcome that fear?

If you have a number of examples of overcoming fear, you may notice patterns developing that you can use to overcome any current challenge that scares you.

This simple thinking exercise will prove to you that you have the ability to overcome things you are fearful about.

Knowledge of previous achievements can help boost self-confidence.

3. Boost self-esteem with small wins

Rather than jumping straight in and tackling the big frogs, use proven goal setting techniques to take small steps.  This helps remove overwhelm.

People often make the mistake of shooting for something far bigger than their current capability.

When they fail, they get discouraged, frustrated and start beating themselves up for failing.

Instead, focus on achieving something you know you can achieve to boost self-confidence.

To help increase focus, plan your day more effectively, download my FREE Daily Productivity Planner to help your stay focused and productive DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE PRODUCTIVITY PLANNER

Once you’ve achieved it, you’ll feel good and self-confident.

Then, set another small goal and achieve that.

This builds positive momentum and belief.

You’ll develop new capabilities, and in turn boost self-confidence.

Soon you’ll be setting bigger (but still achievable) goals and achieving those too.

4. Focus on achievements

Rather than focus on weaknesses that you wish to improve, focus on the positive and expand them.

One of the things I learned when I started my coaching business, was how to replace negative thoughts (see next action) with positive ones.

My intentionally created positive thoughts, and reframing bad situations into a positive focus, made great things happen.

With that tiny mind shift, I was able to get new clients quicker and stay confident and positive every day.

5. Stop negative self talk

This is an essential mindset to master to boost your self-esteem.

You have to be aware of your own thinking and give yourself some time and space to think about your thinking.

Become more aware of your self-talk and the thoughts you have about yourself and what you’re doing.

If there are specific themes to the negative self-talk, step back from that thought and ask yourself “why am I thinking that?” “is there a more positive way of looking at this?”

Replace negative self talk with a positive focus 

When you catch negative self-talk, try to replace the thought with a positive one.

If you think you are far away from achieving your goals, stop and reframe that thought.

Think instead about how far you’ve come from where you started.

Negative become positive and self-confidence rises.

6. Understand your unique strengths

When you spend time doing things you love and you’re great at your self-confidence is at a high level.

Conversely, doing things that bore you, that frustrate you can lower your energy.

Spend some time understanding your unique strengths, and then try to spend more time doing those things that utilise those strengths.

7. Build confidence by focusing on progress

Self-confidence grows when we achieve something that is important to us.

However, we often fail to recognise and celebrate all the great little wins we achieve every day.

At the end of each day, write down 3 things you’ve achieved or are grateful for.

This simple habit of celebrating achievements is one of the best practices for boosting self-confidence daily.

8. Really understand yourself

When you’re trying to overcome a negative self-image and replace it with self-confidence, your enemy is often yourself.

Most personal transformations start internally and come from making a commitment.

The key to creating this transformation is to really understand yourself.

Meditation and journaling are great tools to kick-start this process.

9. Act positive to increase self-esteem 

Thinking positive thoughts and creating a growth focused mindset is great, but you have to put them into action.

Courageous action is often the key to boosting self-confidence.

When positive results come from taking action, you can change yourself internally and externally.

Talk to people in a positive way, become a creator and put energy into your actions.

Do this action every day and you’ll soon start to notice a difference.

10. Express more gratitude

Being grateful and expressing gratitude is a very positive and rewarding activity.

There are many different ways to create a gratitude mindset.

You can start journaling and writing down all the things you’re grateful for.

Before you meet someone, think about all the things you’re grateful to that person for.

Send notes and have more phone calls with the people that matter most expressing your gratitude for them.

These habits can create a very positive mindset and boost your self-esteem as you understand that you have so many things in your life that are great.

11. Add a positive new habit

When you want to start a new habit, rather than replacing a negative one, start with adding a positive new habit.

Make it a small habit.

If you want to start exercising, start with 5 minutes a day and then begin to build up.

When you want to wake up earlier, start with 15 minutes earlier and then build up.

Start with something you know you can do, do it for 30 days and see the difference it makes.

Getting small wins every day will boost your self-confidence and make you feel much better about yourself.

12. Focus on being a creator

If you complain a lot or blame others all the time, change your mindset to being a creator.

By focusing on creating, collaborating and solutions you can boost your self-confidence quickly.

Start creating your day rather than reacting to things that are happening to you.

Think about solutions to problems rather than blaming your circumstances or other people.

Look at the obstacles and challenges you have, and rather than complaining, think about the strategies you can use to overcome each obstacle.

When you focus on being a creator, it transforms your mindset and boosts self-confidence.

13. Stop procrastinating and get into action

What’s on your to-do list that’s you’ve been procrastinating on?

Chances are that those projects, people or things are actually the most important things to focus your energy on.

Try this if you want to stop procrastinating.  Think of 3 things you’ve been procrastinating on for a while.

Think about the results you could achieve if you actually took action on them.

This future focus will get you excited about the possibilities and opportunities and move you into action.

Excitement and energy can help boost self-confidence.  If you then achieve something powerful with the thing you’ve been procrastinating on, your self-confidence will grow further.

Read more:

5 ways to overcome procrastination

Summing Up

Overcoming fear will take commitment and a lot of courage.

The 13 powerful ways to boost self-confidence I’ve laid out in this article can help you overcome that fear and boost self-esteem.

Some of them will work really well together to expand the impact, whilst others will work well in isolation.

Find the best solution for you that works and stick with it.

This article is part of my “Building Confidence” series. Links to other articles in this series below:

3 simple ways to increase confidence every day

4 simple ways to be more confident 

How to be more confident: 10 self-confidence tips 

11 tips on how to build self-confidence

How to build self-esteem: 12 powerful tips 


P.S. Whenever you’re ready….. here are 5 ways I can help you free up your time to grow YOUR business:

Connect with me on Facebook

Sign up to my weekly business growth newsletter

Grab your free Productivity Mastery Daily Planner to 10x your productivity.

Want to work with me one on one? Check out the options here

If you want to boost self-confidence and take your business to the next level but are feeling stuck and frustrated, book a Focusing Call with me and come away with direction, clarity and focus on what you really want to achieve.

Mark Pettit Administrator
Strategic Business Coach , Founder, Lucemi Consulting
About the Author Mark Pettit is a leading 1:1 business coach to ambitious entrepreneurs who want to free themselves up to jump to the next level of time freedom and business growth. He is the founder of Lucemi Consulting, a coaching and consulting company. Visionary, creative, and generous, he is a hero to entrepreneurs seeking to work less, do more of what they love and multiply their revenue and profits.
follow me